Posted On June 12, 2013
And here is David’s second guest blog post, promised in his first. After this, he needs to get his own blog. My experience with members of the transgendered community is limited, except for my Lana-love, so I appreciate David sharing his perspective.
Lgbt = lesbian, gay bisexual and transgendered. I could never figure out why they lumped transgendered in with “us”. Seriously, we have absolutely nothing in common. I always thought it would give people the impression that we all liked dressing up as woman. I love being a guy!!
Lately I have realized that I was no better than a homophobe. Was I being a homophobic homo?? No, I was being totally ignorant and intolerant . I was treating a group of people the way I felt a group of people was treating me. The realization was total a slap across my face. What was I thinking, I had always labelled myself a lefty liberal. I was intolerant to something only because I didn’t understand it.
I had a conversation a while back with a woman who’s husband had “decided” he wanted to be a woman. She had stayed with her husband and helped him through his decisions to live life as a woman. She explained that he had always felt this way, but family and society would not allow him to act on it. . I had two thoughts – first, she epitomized LOVE by being supportive even when it was a strain on her. Second, how hard it must be for someone to feel something their whole life and not be able to let it out.
A few months after this conversation, I ran into a man whose brother was transgendered. I was curious as to how he dealt with it. His response was that he/she was family and he had nothing but love for him/her. He explained that he had a hard time with it in the beginning, but he realized that the one that had the hardest time was his brother. He would rather have his brother versus another suicide statistic.
These conversations totally changed my thought process on the transgendered community. I have never been 100% comfortable with who I am, but always stupid things like “I wish I were thinner” “I wish I were better looking”. How hard must it be someone to wake up everyday and wish they were another gender?? How does one have that conversation with friends or family?? Most transgendered people will tell you that they have felt they were the wrong gender as long as they can remember. Can any of us “normal” people understand the torment??
I am happy to have been taught a life lesson – I was not as tolerant as I thought I was. I am still not sure how I would totally feel if one of my kids told me they wanted be a different gender. I do know that my reaction will be one of love and tolerance